Theological:

Adam: "I'm just looking for my rib.

And, hey, Eve put my pants in the salad again, so I'm naked.

But it's giving me ideas."

Anthropological:

It wasn't the apple made Adam's fall

But the banana peel dropped from monkey's paw

Cosmological:

Across time and the universe

we have traveled

to co-mingle atoms

and fulfill our destiny.

This sounds both painful and time consuming.

Psychological:

I'll give you my unconditional love.

If you do it my way.

Psychoanalytical:

I'm simply seeking my mother-lover-companion-goddess-whore-bitch,

and when I find her, I sure hope she can cook.

Biological:

Romantic love is a biological urge

like hunger, thirst and drugs

deep in the primitive brain

stronger than the will to live

below conscious awareness

dense with cells drenched with dopamine

longing, desire, that unnamable pull

Just drunk with the body's own liquor

Physiological:

Love in reduction

Is friction and suction

Tautological:

Love is real, real is love.

Love is you, you are love.

Ontological:

God must exist, because He brought you to me.

Either that, or you're responding to one of my windshield flyers.

Scatological:

How should I know anything about that crap?

Logical:

When someone stays with you year after year

for the pleasure of your company.